Growing up...no, not really.

I had a dream about losing all my teeth the other night.

There are several meanings as to what this could be about; a few of which really make sense; only one that…well…hard to say.

Losing your teeth is a sign of growing up because you leave behind your baby teeth and grow your adult teeth. Basically, you’re leaving something old behind, and getting something new instead. I guess in hind sight, the whole situation with Ryan last year could be a sign of this, and how I am moving on. But then again, I have already moved on from him a long time ago, so to have a dream about this now would be a bit late.

Another meaning is the loss of defense. You use your teeth to chew, to protect your tongue, to do many things really. Losing this could mean being afraid of what is to come in the future, or being afraid of where your life is going. I think this might ring true the most.

But then again…I don’t know.

The novocain might have seeped in a little more than I thought.

…

The ocean is so vast. When you’re out on the beach, and you sit back, and just really look, and observe the ocean before you, and just take in its vast expansion, it just makes you wonder; how different is the ocean really from life? It’s a constant wave of ebb and flow, swerving and building until it crashes upon itself, reaching the end…and then it starts all over again.

…

I’m at a point where I no longer feel like I know exactly what is going to happen in life.

I don’t know what will happen once I get out of college

I don’t know where I will end up; in another state, here in Texas living back at home, or just out and about.

It frightens me.

I think that’s one thing most college kids will never really admit. Sure, they say they know what they want to do, but no one ever says how really scared they are about life after college.

Haha.

Funny, it’s not even finding work that I’m scared about most.

Or finding a place to live, or going to the dream area I want to work.

There are scarier things to worry about.

Like never finding…

Nah, I can’t even say it, because that would make me weak right? Admitting what is really bothering me.

…

Ttfn.